Time for pie and wine!
I've had terrible luck growing rhubarb, with my plants staying scrawny. Perhaps I've fussed over it to much, since it flourishes with huge leaves along the railroad tracks and at the base of telephone poles. Rather than worry over what I'm doing wrong, I'm just harvesting along roadsides. I even enjoy rhubarb the old-style way: a nice tender stalk raw and dipped in sugar.